Sometimes couples become caught in cycles of interaction that slowly chip away at the foundation of their love, leaving them confused, angry or shut down.
I work with couples using the highly effective method known as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). The goal of the process is to help you discover how to communicate with your partner –to get their attention, to feel understood, and to elicit compassion and caring. EFT can help defuse the tension in your relationship as you begin to relax and respond tenderly to each other. The connection you rebuild will spark new passion and playfulness in your relationship.
What is EFT?
EFT is a short-term approach to helping distressed couples. Typically, within 16-30 sessions couples are guided through the following process of therapy:
Stage 1: Tracking your communication patterns. This helps you to:
• Recognize trigger points
• Explore and understand the basis for your triggers
• Unlatch from rigid unhealthy patterns of behavior
• Defuse conflict
• Recognize your partner is not the enemy. You are struggling together.
Stage 2: Creating a new, positive pattern of communication. This helps you to:
• Communicate emotions effectively
• Create an intimate, secure bond
• Feel cared for and loved by one another
Relationships evoke a host of feelings: joy, pleasure, anger, hurt, anxiety, sadness, loneliness, insecurity…even if you don’t think of yourself as an emotional person. You need to find a way to let your partner know how you are feeling in the relationship in order to have a healthy bond. In stage two you discover how to express yourself in a way that maximizes the chances of your partner responding to your needs and wants.
Stage 3: Applying new communication patterns to contentious issues of the past. This helps you to:
• Strengthen the new patterns of communication by applying them to previously unresolved issues.
• Embrace new ways of connecting with each other emotionally and physically.
• Prepare to end therapy with strategies to help you maintain your closeness
Regardless of the state of your relationship, Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples can help you and your partner break out of old negative patterns for good.